in the arsehole of diogenes

NEO-HERACLITUS_____________Qweir Notions in the arsehole of Diogenes: weBlog of a septuagenarian Binge-thinker since February 2008.

Saturday, 18 November 2017

On the removal from power of .Robert Mugabe,

President of Zimbabwe for the last 37 years,
let us not forget Francisco Macias Nguema,
first president of Equatorial Guinea (formerly Rio Muni plus Fernando Pó and other islands),
who had a huge collection of human skulls in his mansion,
and replaced crucifixes in churches with his own image.
He abolished all education in 1974, executed and maimed civil servants,
and on his overthrow tried to flee with the entire paper currency of the country in a suitcase...

The insanity of categorisation.

"The dandelion is not a small plant,
but ‘a large tree with no investment in trunk,
major branches, or perennial roots’."

Aren't there more important things to reflect on -
such as how silly (as well as destructive) it is to be human ?

Friday, 17 November 2017

Today's Ear-worm

surprised me.  Usually fragments of Brahms
or Chopin repeat in my brain all day and all night,
drowning out the occasional tinnitus -
but today, out of nowhere, came a creepy song
from a 1954 film I never saw :

...Many men have tried to split us up, but no one can.
Lord help the mister
who comes between me and my sister -
And lord help the sister
who comes between me and my man.

Thursday, 16 November 2017

One of the many reasons I chose to immigrate from Northern Ireland to south-west France

is that I have always disliked - even been ashamed of - my surname:
Weir pronounced wɪər
(which has nothing to do with water,
but is an Anglicisation of the county Donegal surname Maguire
[Irish: Mac Uídhir],
for many of that name fled starvation in North-Western Ireland
to wage-slavery in Lowland [Lalland] Scotland.

In French, however, this mean-sounding, Lallands name
sings sweet and sexy:
vɛjʁ - to rhyme roughly with layer as pronounced in Louisiana.

(I'm sure y'all are grateful for this information.)

Wednesday, 15 November 2017

English as a Foreign Language.

Examination question in Colloquial English :

"It is less unpleasant to be goosed by a dog
than to be dogged by a goose."  

Discuss this statement, mentioning any ambiguity that you may notice or intuit.

Tuesday, 14 November 2017

Next time you fail to steal something

from a corner-shop, "convenience store", supermarket, or food-hypermarket,
remember that they and their employees are part of a web
of the most organised and legally-protected drug-pushers in the world.
The slave trade was founded on sugar, not cotton.
The sugarless and scrawny poor had to sell their teeth to the tooth-rotten
(hence 'stinking') rich
in order to survive in terrible, gum-infected misery.
I was made aware over 70 years ago that sugar was a dangerous substance,
but was not discouraged from ladling it on to my porridge, nor from eating sweets.
It is perhaps the most instantly-addictive of all substances.
Saccharin (invented in the late 19th century) became a popular substitute for sugar
during World War Two, and in the 1960s was perceived as 'less fattening'.
But saccharin has consistently been trashed by the 'sugar lobby'
seizing on bad science which suggested it was carcinogenous.

Sugar is not needed even in jam, which requires only pectin
to make it set, not the caramelisation of sugar,
which should be taxed and labelled like tobacco products.

(Then there's salt, and doubly-refined carbohydrate, and "food"
consisting of doubly-refined carbohydrate, salt and sugar
sold quite legally by some of the most powerful conglomerates in the world...)

Monday, 13 November 2017

To the ever-expanding acronym


I wish to add another letter :

N - for Necrophiliac,
the most harmless of sexualities
apart from committed self-induced orgasm.

Sunday, 12 November 2017

Since the latest

Since the latest Windows 10 compulsory "update"
I can't access the internet;
I can receive Outlook messages, but not send any...
so I have decided to go Back to Basics.

 ("The Free World" ? Kiss my furry arse!)

Cars of my dreams.

There are two.
I can't decide between
the pre-war Scripps-Booth Tricycle
with wooden rear wheels,

and the  Peel Trident bubble-car
made on the Isle of Man
(which I used to be able to see quite often
from my home in the County Down).

"A completely new design from the earlier side-engined Peel P50 microcar,
the Trident was manufactured in 1965 and 1966."


Saturday, 11 November 2017

Two great talkers of the last 75 years

are richly represented on YouTube:

Orson Welles

and John le Carré

Both have beautiful bass-baritone voices
quite apart from their flowing and gently self-mocking intelligence.

Friday, 10 November 2017


is a very small town in the remote west of Ireland
which has a road called Mosque Road
leading to Ireland's first custom-built Islamic place of worship.


Thursday, 9 November 2017

Message to Busy People.

Death may well turn out to be
the luxurious cessation
of a whole lifetime of

Wednesday, 8 November 2017

Any kind of authority

de-personalises the person who grabs
(or is awarded) it.  And that person
de-personalises all those who are subject
to his or her authority.

In England, a black or bearded Muslim-looking person is 17 times more likely
to be Stopped-And-Searched quite legally by de-personalised policemen,
no matter how well-dressed or even how well-known s|he is.

Why, in that shameful country, has there arisen no Buddy-service,
where bleached, Caucasian people accompany those with beautifully-coloured skins
and insist that the harassing policemen search them as well as their Buddy ?

Monday, 6 November 2017

from Rules of Conduct for Men in High and Low Places & Positions of Power.

'When a lady is bearded
she should be treated as a lady
and not as a beard.'

- Poets Ranked by Beard Weight, Commemorative Edition.
ISBN 978-1-61608-245-1

Surely two of the greatest lines in English literature :

"On the smooth brown hair was a hat that had been taken from its mother too young."
                                 - Raymond Chandler, The Little Sister.

"What would we want with dung at our time of life ?"

                                             - Samuel Beckett, All That Fall.

Sunday, 5 November 2017

Úlf Nilsen on interpreting Beethoven:

"I find it slightly curious - as a blind performer - to play music by a deaf composer."

Saturday, 4 November 2017

The attitudes of the 'normal'

are more problematic
than the beahviour of the

Simply put :

if capitalism were for 'the general good'
care-workers, cleaners and nurses
would not be near the bottom
of the economic heap.

Friday, 3 November 2017

Just yesterday

I was thinking that I understand dogs and how they think (more or less),
while almost all human beings I have met* have been a puzzle, mystery, opaque to me. 
Maybe I’m aspergeric, maybe I’m allergic - certainly too aesthetic...
Maybe it’s just that other people find me too full-on, up-front or embarrassingly open
(interpreted as 'confrontational') – when really I’m just enthusiastic.

* Apart from my mother (whose birthday it is: she'd be 110 today), my aunt, and Malcolm.

Wednesday, 1 November 2017

Did he really 'get a boob-job'

while harrowing Hell ?

And what happened to his willy ?
Did he give it to the King of Evil ?
And if so, voluntarily or not ?

Sunday, 29 October 2017

Which will be the first independent state to recognise Catalonia ?

Will it be Abkhazia,
Somaliland, or
Transdnistria ?

Or none of these,
no state at all ?

Will the Republic of Catalonia
last longer than a week ?
or a month ?

Friday, 27 October 2017

Confession of Jan Švankmajer

"I am a hand with six fingers with webs in between.
Instead of fingernails I have petite, sharp, sweet-toothed little tongues
with which I lick the world."

from his diary.

(His wonderful Little Otik can be torrented.)

Thursday, 26 October 2017

Dissident Viking haiku

Cutting my toe-nails
beside the wood-burning stove :
a gift to Naglfar.

Naglfar was the Ship of Doom made entirely from unburnt human finger- and toe-nails.

Tuesday, 24 October 2017

An Alliterative Haiku

Stunning sunset !  Stoned,
I've put on my pyjamas
back to front - again.

Sunday, 22 October 2017


Middle East:
"And now also the axe is laid unto the root of the trees:
therefore every tree which bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down,
and cast into the fire."

"The problem for modern boys, of course,
was that they were not in danger of dying from bullets or bombs -
but of living a life without any meaning."

Friday, 20 October 2017

A new translation/adaptation of

Rainer Maria Rilke

That heap looks like mere rubbish,
but get close and you can tell
that it's a pile of beggars.
If only they could sell
the emptiness of their pleading hands
like bogus shares.

Encouraged by his fascinated stares
they show the gawker
the festering black markets of their mouths.
They let him, with no inhibitions
(and quite affordably)
examine their skin conditions.

His face distorts, melts like moonlit
plastic before their decomposing eyes.
Thinking of the latest fatalities,
they rejoice at his discomfort,
and as he stammers his banalities
they dribble, spew and spit.

Anthony Weir

Wednesday, 18 October 2017

When what I write might indicate

that I'm thoughtful, subtle and intelligent,
the intemperate things I say
in my poor socio-verbal exchanges
with actual people
show that I'm a fool, if not insane.

Tuesday, 17 October 2017

Helen Rumbelow’s tale of ditching the soap.

I’ve stopped washing — be honest, do I smell?

London, October 16, 2017

One way to find out who your friends are:
is to give up soap and deodorant and ask for help to monitor how bad you smell. Even my partner refuses: “Is there any hope we can keep the magic alive?” he asks as I attempt to cover his face with my armpit.
But my children, whose love is mammalian and humour is gross-out, comply. We get into a routine: my arms outstretched as if for a hug, but instead they tuck their little noses into my darkest recesses and snuffle. This feels, somehow, like it once used to.
That’s no coincidence. For I am not just neglecting my personal hygiene, like those earnest people you meet, usually in Stroud, who tell you their bodies are “self-regulating” and you nod and think, “Yeah, but you reek of hamster.”
I am conducting an experiment at the vanguard of dermatological research.

Twice a day I spray on live bacteria. Live bacteria that has been cultivated from soil. I am literally covering myself in dirt to get clean.

It sounds crazy, but is it crazier than, say, our multibillion personal-care industry being an expensive way of killing off the very bacteria that would do a better job? Day one: I put my trusty deodorant in the bin. I’ve been dependent since I was 12 years old, and to keep it would be too tempting. Instead I stand in my pants next to the fridge door and spray my pits from a chilled bottle labelled “Mother Dirt”. It is indistinguishable from water, yet costs £30. “Welcome to the future!” I say to my family. They say I smell of “puddles”.

Like so many great body-odour stories, this began with a first date. It was 14 years ago, and David Whitlock, an American chemical engineer trained at MIT, was out at dinner with a woman who kept horses. Why, she asked him, did her horses roll in the dirt? He mumbled about rubbing off bugs, but she wasn’t impressed. The date was going nowhere and Whitlock went back to his lab. Why did so many mammals roll in dirt? It must play an evolutionary role in their health.

He zeroed in on a bacteria found in soil and streams: Nitrosomonas eutropha (known as N eutropha). He scraped some off the floor of a stable in Boston. It feeds on ammonia (which is found in sweat) and turns it into nitric oxide. Nitric oxide was crowned “molecule of the year” in 1992 by the American Association for the Advancement of Science. Why? It has a role in alleviating depression, lowering blood pressure and regulating sleep. But its relevance for Whitlock was that it is an anti-inflammatory. He was excited. Could N eutropha gobble up your stink and turn it into a balm for your body? He dumped a bucket of the stuff on himself. “I may be crazy,” he likes to say, “but I’m not stupid.”

Whitlock has not had a shower or used soap other than on his hands since. He relies on N eutropha misting.

It is no surprise that primates and remote human tribes have a 40 per cent more diverse skin microbiome than we soap freaks. However, acne, eczema and psoriasis are also practically unknown in hunter-gatherer humans, while in the west they are sharply on the rise. Why? Medics used to think we had to get rid of the bacteria causing skin conditions. Now they have begun to think about reintroducing the bacteria that prevent them. Dermatology journals are fizzing with early success stories.

Richard Gallo at the University of California found that eczema was triggered by a deficiency of a certain strain of bacteria. It was rectified when he dosed patients with a lotion containing boosted amounts of the live bacteria — a kind of skin-bacteria transplant. The same goes for acne: we all have acne bacteria on our skin and it is thought that spots flare due to a bacterial battle we little understand.

Acne, eczema and psoriasis are practically unknown in hunter-gatherer humans

Day three: it is not a smell that’s the problem, it’s the paranoia.
I don’t stink. One spray of the mist seems to convert my funk into a sort of rainy freshness. But I can’t trust this voodoo to keep working. It’s hard not to keep my arms pinned to my sides, like a 14-year-old in co-ed PE. I have a jog, a sweaty commute and an interview with Anne Robinson. We all know we can trust Anne to mention it. Her nose gets close as we say goodbye, but it doesn’t wrinkle a bit.

In the wild, humans would be bathing in muddy water, sitting in soil and enjoying daily inoculations of N eutropha. Whitlock devised a spray to replicate this. He called it Mother Dirt and founded a company, AO Biome, to set up clinical trials on the N eutropha spray.The trials are in phase two with regard to acne and high blood pressure. The spray’s efficacy must be proven before the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approves it as a medical treatment. The FDA had to create a category for the live topical.

Meanwhile, the spray is available as a cosmetic product. Mother Dirt is run by Jasmina Aganovic, a 30-year-old chemical engineer who trained at MIT. She says they shift tens of thousands of mist bottles a year in America and are about to launch it in the UK.

Most customers are aged from 25 to 35, and half, she estimates, are from the “Paleo” community, which tries to replicate ancestral lifestyles. Yet the other half, she says, are those so at their wits’ end with skin problems that they will try anything. “They’re confused. They’ve done everything they have been told. We seem to be cleaner than ever, yet have more problems than ever.”

There is much talk of the gut microbiome and how it affects obesity and immunity, but no one thinks much about skin, which also teems with bacteria. The same person who smugly eats yoghurt for her gut has probably slaughtered her skin microbiome 20 times before breakfast.

That’s the problem for Mother Dirt (slogan: “I used to be addicted to soap, I’m clean now”). Base-level hygiene for most westerners is kryptonite to N eutropha. Everyone from the company stresses that they wash their hands with soap to stop communicable disease. There is no medical need, however, to soap anywhere above the wrist. Yet we do. And soap kills N eutropha. So does sodium lauryl sulphate, a lathering ingredient in almost every shampoo and body wash, which is an antimicrobial.

Not only that, but almost every personal-care product, from foundation to moisturiser, contains preservatives. These are designed to stop bacterial growth. As for deodorant, Aganovic says they have never found a “biome-friendly” one. Put like that, my bathroom cabinet seems to be crammed with the cosmetic equivalent of junk food.

We should think about our skin biome as an unexplored rainforest. There is an utterly serious scientific endeavour called Belly Button Biodiversity in which scientists swabbed 500 navels and found 2,368 different bacterial species. It estimated that more than half were new to science. Each person had an average of 67 in their belly button. In that light, modern body care is nuking the rainforest: who knows what endangered bugs you are washing down the plughole?
Aganovic knew that 21st-century customers wouldn’t give it all up to roll in the dirt, so she has come up with an alternative cleanser and moisturiser that seems to be rosewater and coconut oil. It’s fine, but for the last three days of my ten-day experiment I up the ante: I stop showering or cleansing and rely on the mist alone. (Aganovic doesn’t recommend this; she showers and mists daily.)

It’s not the smell — it’s the paranoia
My grandmother used to say “horses sweat, men perspire, ladies gently glow”. Sorry, grandma, but I glow like a bloody horse. Yet without washing at all, my much-sampled body odour isn’t as rank as it would be otherwise. When I am overdue a misting, it’s more, reported my (very) good friend, like a “faint top note of chardonnay left in the sun”. One Mother Dirt user said her altered odour reminded her of a waft of “pleasant pot”. A few minutes after misting, my faint smell vanishes.

Aganovic says that about half of users find they can give up deodorant, as she does: they have no idea why people differ. For them odour is less the point than helping skin conditions. There is much continuing research into this, but only one small double-blind study has been finished; in it the N eutropha group said their skin felt better. The only independent studies of N eutropha are being conducted by Raja Sivamani, a professor of dermatology at the University of California. Sivamani asked one group of volunteers to spray Mother Dirt on their skin, while another group sprayed water, then he studied markers for inflammation. His data will not be ready to publish for a few months.
“We can see that N eutropha appears safe, but the jury is still out on how it works and what it does,” Sivamani said. “We did see a shift . . . Maybe some of the inflammatory agents were reduced, but those results were preliminary. This science is very early.”

Other scientists are being cautious too. I speak to Carsten Flohr, the head of research and development at St John’s Institute of Dermatology, Guy’s and St Thomas’s NHS Foundation Trust in London. “It sounds nice, but they have a product to sell,” Flohr says. Yet he remains open-minded, especially when I tell him about my armpit miracle. “The fact that there is little evidence so far doesn’t mean it doesn’t do something.”

In fact, Flohr’s research is pushing at the horizon of this new field. There is good evidence that there is an important window in infancy for establishing a healthy gut microflora, and this may be the case be for the skin. Heed this, all you over-washers of children! He also has studied how irritating sodium lauryl sulphate can be for the skin. But, I say, I now know they are in almost every bathroom product. Should we be avoiding it? “Not everybody, but certainly those with eczema and dry skin.”

Hmm. I can only say that I liked this experiment. I felt fresh. The Mother Dirt bottle is expensive, so I won’t carry on, but I will try to be a better host to my bacteria. I knew I was converted when I was involved in a kid’s bath-time and some bubbles got on to my face. I dashed to towel them off like the soap was some deadly poison. Which to my new friend N eutropha, and God knows how many of his relatives that have come to stay at mine.

* * * * *

There is actually no need to use this expensive stuff.  Just stop washing with soap everything except your hands.  Your body will acquire the necessary bacteria pretty quickly, especially if you also stop washing clothes unnecessarily and water-wastingly.

I haven't used soap for years, except for my hands, sometimes my feet (whose smell I like) - and then only soap made with olive oil and herbs.  I probably smell of dog, as well as human, but that is an added bonus - and better than hamster.

Monday, 16 October 2017

ex-Hurricane Ophelia runs up Ireland

This chilling, patriarchal pronouncement

by the 17th century hypocrite Thomas Fuller
(over 300 years before Orwell's 1984)
is a mantra displayed in the Headquarters of Apple® :

Good is not good when better is expected.

Sunday, 15 October 2017

My new 'portmanteau' word -


- is the feeling that kind people
(or even whole organisations) have
for distressed other beings,
while also feeling (or even knowing)
that there is nothing they can do.

Saturday, 14 October 2017

The Ecological French

Now that plastic bags are allowed to be used only for squelchy things,
the use of paper bags has dramatically increased -
and many people bring them back to market-stalls to be re-used.

A paper bag can be used many times.

Friday, 13 October 2017

Essence of Beckett.

"What happened ?"

"I have never known anything to happen."

- from All That Fall.

Thursday, 12 October 2017

Борис Гребенщиков

The great Boris Grebenshikov updated his Facebook portrait :

His voice is not quite as good as was Vladimir Vysotsky's
but his lyrics are much better.

Wednesday, 11 October 2017

It's not Consumerism

that we should (hypocritically) be condemning,
but the 'producerism' that everyone encourages,  admires.

Tuesday, 10 October 2017

A very arcane piece of information:

The wonderful letter


was removed (along with several others, such as  ѭ, )
from the Russian alphabet in the early eighteenth century.

More were removed just after the revolutions of 1917.

Monday, 9 October 2017

I have no difficulty in accepting

that 'everything'  (The Universe)
is physical, mathematical,
chemical, biochemical, etc. etc.,
and that we are basically puppets of evolution
with limited scope for self-alteration,
but I have great difficulty in accepting
that most people don't also accept this.

Sunday, 8 October 2017


My dog was disappointed
that the meteors this Fall
weren't meatier -
in fact, not nourishing at all.

Anyone, anywhere,

can take time to contemplate
the Question of Schrödinger's Cat.

Friday, 6 October 2017

Illustrated Haiku

This is the place where
I may slowly decompose
when I'm freed from life.

Thursday, 5 October 2017

Wednesday, 4 October 2017

Haiku after Issa

Behind the hemlock :
a  luscious stream of water
can be heard, not seen.

Tuesday, 3 October 2017

It is a great pity

that humans are too stupid
to use their intelligence

Sunday, 1 October 2017

In this most unreal of worlds

Other People's "spirit-guides" are boring,
predictable, phony and fake.
I imagine mine to be
an Ebola virus, a cockroach, a lake,
an archaeopteryx,
a fungus, a flea,
a dog or a hog or a fog
or a tree.

Saturday, 30 September 2017

Friday, 29 September 2017

On e-bay

I got (very cheap) a super-duper Sony tuner-amplifer
with Surround Sound capability, and lots of inputs and outputs
and throughputs.  It works well for my modest requirements
which include, importantly, Surround Silence.

Thursday, 28 September 2017

“The Düsseldorf Vampire”,

Peter Kürten, asked the Cologne prison psychiatrist in 1931 if –
after his head was sliced off by the guillotine –
he would be able to hear, just for a moment,
the gush of his blood from his neck. 
He was told that, most likely, it would be the last
and perhaps most exciting sound to reach his ears.

Wednesday, 27 September 2017

When I am unwell,

my caring, sharing, tiring, demanding and devoted dog lies
on top of me and bestows
a laying-on of paws.

Tuesday, 26 September 2017

Saturday, 23 September 2017

Sigmund Freud wrote that

the satisfaction of a 'savage desire'
is incomparably more pleasurable
than the satisfaction of a civilised one.
But it is civilisation that produces
ever wilder and more destructive desires.

Friday, 22 September 2017

Kustodiev: Portrait of Kardovsky.

Dmitry Kardovsky looks just a bit like me.
Alas! even though he admired Mikhail Vrubel
he was not a very inspired or original painter -
which may be why he kept out of trouble
and survived as a professor until 1943.

Thursday, 21 September 2017

Testosterone ?

Men seem to find it more difficult to be male
than women (oppressed by men, each other,family, marriage
and their own fertility) do to be female.

Wednesday, 20 September 2017

Tuesday, 19 September 2017

Haiku (on anticipation of death) by Issa.

The old snake turning
towards the western paradise
enters his burrow.

(Irish version)
The old snake turning
towards Tír na n'Óg goes
into his burrow.

Monday, 18 September 2017

Long live sharks!

These Ridiculously Long-Lived Sharks Are Older Than the United States, and Still Living It Up

In an evolutionary sense, sharks are among Earth’s oldest survivors; they’ve been roaming the oceans for more than 400 million years. But some individual sharks boast lifespans that are equally jaw-dropping. Incredibly, deepwater sharks off the coast of Greenland appear to have been alive and swimming back in Shakespeare’s day 400-plus years ago—making them the longest-lived of all known vertebrates.

Bristlecone pines can live to be 5,000 years old. Sea sponges can live for thousands of years. One quahog, a hard-shelled ocean clam, died in 2006 at the age of 507. But among vertebrates, the long-lived skew much younger. Bowhead whales and rougheye rockfish can live for up to 200 years, and a few giant tortoises may also approach the two century mark.
Now it seems that Greenland sharks more than double even these remarkable lifespans, scientists report today in Science.
The reason for the sharks’ unfathomably long lives has to do with their lifestyles. Cold-blooded animals that live in cold environments often have slow metabolic rates, which are correlated with longevity. “The general rule is that deep and cold equals old, so I think a lot of people expected species like Greenland sharks to be long-lived,” says Chris Lowe, a shark biologist at the California State University at Long Beach. “But holy cow, this takes it to an entirely different level…”
(read more: Smithsonian Magazine)
photograph via: NOAA Okeanos Explorer Program

Friday, 15 September 2017

This armpit...

And maybe also after 9 years -
but I don't expect to live that long.

Thursday, 14 September 2017

Now 76,

I can cheerfully announce
that there are two things I do not know:
1. Everything
2. Nothing.

Wednesday, 13 September 2017

Genealogy (a birthday poem).

Like almost everyone,
'I come from a long line of nobodies'.
My last Famous Forebear
was Abel.

Tuesday, 12 September 2017

Only in America ?

"Tampering with or disabling toilet cameras is a Federal Crime
punishable by a fine of up to $3,000."

Monday, 11 September 2017

"Dating" - a peculiar mid-twentieth-century American expression and practice.

When I was twenty, I met the only woman in my sex-life
on a live-in summer job in Copenhagen.
So I never "dated" anyone,
not even men I found sexy
when I "came out" vingt ans après.
I brought them home, or they brought me to their homes
immediately.  Or else we parted courteously.
I never understood the "dating concept" -
was it to do with calendars or palm-trees ?
Immediate invitation to dinner, bed and breakfast -
is, I rather think, very different from "dating".

Sunday, 10 September 2017

Saturday, 9 September 2017

The Educated Poor

(a regrettably rare demographic)
know both the price
and the value
of most things.

Friday, 8 September 2017

My friend Jindra

had this on his Facebook timeline
way back in July:

I have just come back from a short vacation up North [Ontario, Canada].
This woodcarving fascinated me.

"We are explorers from England. We mean well."
"We are not amused, neither are we stupid. Get the fuck out of here !"
"Big Bear, I am sick to my stomach about them coming here."

"Let me write this down. I find his attitude deeply offensive, Captain."

© Jindřich & Dína Hrdliča & Anthony Weir (with Asterix) MMXVII

Thursday, 7 September 2017

No tree shall be felled

to publish anything I write
(poetical, tendentious, sententious or trite)
which shall stay insubstantial
in the margin of the virtual.

Wednesday, 6 September 2017

Doctors are

like "gateway drugs".
The more you visit them
the more you need them.

Monday, 4 September 2017

Haiku after Kobayashi Issa.

Writing trash about
moonlight for the bourgeoisie
is no kind of art.

[Issa wrote 54 haikai on snails, 15 on toads, nearly 200 on frogs, about 230 on fireflies, more than 150 on mosquitoes, 90 on other kinds of  fly, over 100 on fleas, and nearly 90 on cicadas, making a total of about one thousand verses on such creatures.]

Sunday, 3 September 2017

Haiku after Bashō.

Rather than the leaves,
we admire gaudy flowers
on our planet of pain.

Friday, 1 September 2017

Graham Greene

wrote in his autobiography:
'All life long my instinct has been
to abandon anything for which I had no talent.'

If only a few million more people would be so wise !

Thursday, 31 August 2017

Life on Earth

exists only for its own sake,
not for any purpose or process
that we might dream up.
It exists only to exist,
to distinguish itself
from solids, gases and liquids.

But does it have to be aggressive ?

Sunday, 27 August 2017

"...the entire civilisation is sick,

appalling ideologies
such as fascism and Stalinism
could never have flourished."

- Jan  Švankmajer

from Little Otik

Thursday, 24 August 2017


are megalomaniacs
posing as nurturers.
But of course we are
The Megalomaniac Species.

Wednesday, 23 August 2017

Language and Time.

Guaraní - still spoken by 80% of the population of landlocked and impoverished Paraguay, not many of whom speak Spanish - interprets time differently from Indo-European, Semitic and other settled-people's languages. Time future is permanently in doubt: the word for tomorrow means if the sun rises again. The concept of time past is dual - divided between what happened (or what is alleged to have or accepted as having happened), and what was supposed to happen but did not.  This may, of course, be due to the appalling War of the Triple Alliance...

read more >

Tuesday, 22 August 2017

I'm not sold

on the idea of time
as other than an illusion.
One of the (not so many) wise things
that Bertrand Russell said was that
the Universe started only five minutes ago.

Monday, 21 August 2017

Why Joseph Conrad wrote so well.

MFK Fisher recounts that
he learned English as a sailor on night-watch
by reading a page of the King James translation of the Bible,
tearing it out and lighting his pipe with it,
and then reflecting on it (probably in Polish)
for the rest of the watch.

Saturday, 19 August 2017

If we are no longer

the sole possessors of empathy, altruism
and even language, perhaps all that we can uniquely claim
are vengeance, hate, religion, complaint, hypocrisy....and apportioning of blame.

Friday, 18 August 2017


is something we should hurl only
(but frequently) at politicians,
bankers, businessmen, religious leaders and the powerful,
not something we should throw at each other,
not even occasionally.

Thursday, 17 August 2017

Crime & Punishment.

Mary, a five-ton circus elephant who killed her new trainer,
was hanged for the crime by heavy-duty construction equipment in 1916 in Tennessee.
Topsy, another.wayward circus performer on Coney Island in New York,
was fed poison, electrocuted and strangled in 1903,
the execution of true justice filmed by a crew from Edison Studios...

Wednesday, 16 August 2017

Tuesday, 15 August 2017

“The Germans are not human beings.

"From now on the word German pierces our hearts and is for us the worst imaginable curse.
We shall not panic. We shall kill.
If you have not killed at least one German a day,
you have wasted that day [...]
for us the greatest of all joys is a heap of German corpses.”

- IIya Ehrenburg, Russian propagandist of German-Lithuanian-Jewish extraction.

Monday, 14 August 2017

On Writing Historical Fiction.

'You need to know ten times
as much as you tell."

- Hilary Mantel

This is surely also true of biography
and autobiography, which are themselves
forms of historical fiction.

Sunday, 13 August 2017

The Most Evil Empire.

Churchill and Christ in a gunboat! 
Make the wogs walk on water,
set fire to their villages.
Grab whole continents
and sub-continents.
Smash factories,
destroy societies,
take all resources,
make them grow opium,
make them smoke opium,
divide and rule,
let them starve,
deliver hundreds of thousands
to firing-squads and concentration-camps,
wipe out more 'lesser breeds' than Stalin or Hitler
- and award yourself a permanent seat
on the cynical UN Security Council.

Saturday, 12 August 2017

Really ?

It's just what an aircraft dinner from the 1960s
was for The Great Unwashed who travelled by cheapo charter flight -
and who now get even worse.

Friday, 11 August 2017


for most people
seems to be banality.
But real reality
(as every earwig knows)
is surreality.

Thursday, 10 August 2017

Five Haikai

The brandy finished -
time to get down to business
and admire the moon.


Having sucked my blood
the horse-fly dismounts and sits
on cow-parsley head.


From the same corruption
emerge a stink-horn toadstool
and a violet.


Ten million sperm
dripping on the book-jacket.
Words are waste of words.


A brief urgency -
my bare arse is caressed by
the April nettles.

Wednesday, 9 August 2017

I wish I had written this...

by Eric Chaet

I didn’t choose camouflage or invisibility.
I’ve tried, all along
to make what I think manifest
to behave as I think I should
however contrary to custom
to let everyone who wished
see that I was pursuing goals
they believe are unattainable.

But I was only one
& how I appeared was discounted
as an imagined figment
or temporary insanity
or an instance of this or that
doomed religion or political movement.

Without shaving my beard
or changing into more conventional clothes
I find myself allied with brown sparrows
who duck out of sight
among shadows, leaves, & branches
with rabbits, mice, deer
& timid boys & girls
& intimidated subordinates everywhere
engaged in every occupation
with all who have failed
or feel they’re failing—
& the stampeding so-called successes
talk clever bullshit on TV
& allocate resources
to maintain the current
& develop the next round of outrages
as tho' I’d never struggled or spoken.

You see a bit of me here & now
but soon you’ll be otherwise occupied.
If you remember, then, what you’ve seen
& decipher (which is easy) what it means
I’ll gladly be of greater service to you
than those blinded by what they expect
can imagine.

[more by Eric  HERE]

Tuesday, 8 August 2017

Another Sign of Senility.

I turned on the car radio the other day
(it's pre-set to boring and talky France-Musique)
and was amazed to hear some superb Arab-Jazz fusion
which turned out to be Jan Garbarek with Anouar Brahem and others.
Finally! I thought, somebody has got the message
that there is music beyond post-11th century Europe.
But when I got home, I couldn't find it on the listings,
so went to the car to check what station I was on.
I had been playing one of my own CDs.
So it's back to mainly-baroque boredom on France-Musique.

Monday, 7 August 2017

Language, Truth and Logic

If the offspring of a cat
is a kitten,
I think it highly likely that
the offspring of a mat
is a mitten.

Saturday, 5 August 2017


Horse-fly's shopping-trip:
from dog-turd to me, and on
to someone's dinner.

Friday, 4 August 2017

Epithalamium ?

On the 14th of June 2017
we (aged 75 and 55 respectively)
had our platonic,
same-sex and boyish,
sweetly intimate
of over 20 years rewarded
for a modest fee with an official
and embossed
Civil Partnership certificate.

Thursday, 3 August 2017

A Reply to Adam Zagajewski

Of course we should praise the mutilated world -
but we should rage against its mutilation.
Let us not praise in any way
our mutilating selves,
our self- and world-mutilating creeds,
'values', 'ways of life'.
Rage against the deserts we call 'gardens',
our cynical and criminal misuse of water,
our making the poor ever-poorer, rare animals rarer,
our destruction of trees by farms and fancy furniture and paper,
our pollution of the oceans through sheer greed,
our servicing of cities by continuous slaughter
which we drown out by night-club laughter.

Wednesday, 2 August 2017

Before there was glass

in church windows
there was thin but untransparent
The hovels of the poor
had the caul-
like skin of a cow's stomach
stretched and dried
over a hole in the wall.

Monday, 31 July 2017

The gloriously controversial

Slavoj Žižek gave a lecture entitled:
Under capitalism 80 percent of the population are simply disposable. 
Ultimately, he's right, but the notorious "checks and balances",
not to mention committedly rebellious folk
will ensure (short of nuclear war)
that 80 percent is not actually disposed of...
except, of course, the unimportant people in Syria
and at least 80% of the world...

Sunday, 30 July 2017


Mud three metres deep...
     The horses, the poor horses!
and the dead England- and Empire-resenting Irish
who fought allegedly for "plucky little Belgium",
and for whom no sickly-sanctimonious war-memorials
would be erected in their half-Free State.

[The three-month Third Battle of Ypres, fought around the village of Passchendaele (now Passendale, NE of Ieper/Ypres),began on the 31st July, 1917. 
The bodies of 35,000 soldiers on the Allied side,
drowned in mud, were never found or never identified.]

Saturday, 29 July 2017

A nice (if awkward) little rhyme

from Aleister Crowley.

"Blot out mankind - and give the beasts a chance!
 Nature may in their inheritance grant
 Some semblance of a race
 Less infinitely base."

Friday, 28 July 2017

When I smoke weed

I happily imagine
that I lose my identity
and become
Old Man With Dog.

Thursday, 27 July 2017

The most ancient Conundrum.

How was it
that co-operative creatures
constructed the Pandora's Box
of private property ?