in the arsehole of diogenes

NEO-HERACLITUS_____________Qweir Notions in the arsehole of Diogenes: weBlog of a septuagenarian Binge-thinker since February 2008.
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Friday, 9 December 2016

Thursday, 8 December 2016

I simply can't

understand how people can buy crap
and third-rate kitsch and ugliness
merely in order to sell it to crap-lovers,
especially at Christmas.
Have they no shame ?

Wednesday, 7 December 2016

In the middle of my last night

in my decayed Irish home
a rat climbed on to the duvet
(on the futon on the floor)
to say Goodbye.
No, it was not a dream.
I left her a bar of chocolate(80% cocoa)
as a token of my esteem.

Tuesday, 6 December 2016

I recently read

that in the later Middle Ages
more women were immured in European convents
than in Ottoman and non-Ottoman harems.

Saturday, 3 December 2016

Saints

are not the good,
the magic, or the holy
but only
posthumously-celebrated
misfits.

Friday, 2 December 2016

If hermits

were not self-promotional
we would not have heard about them.

Thursday, 1 December 2016

Some things sometimes get a bit better.

When I went to school
some teachers smoked pipes
while teaching,some
called some pupils Fatso
and one had a dog called Nigger.
A dark shade of brown
was also called Nigger.
Sometimes I was called Weird
but not Qweir.

(You've guessed my surname ?)

Tuesday, 29 November 2016

Monday, 28 November 2016

Not Clytemnestra, not Medea, nor Helen, mother of Constantine

The worst woman in history
said one of the best things ever:
There is no such thing as society.

Nor is there any such thing as identity.

Sunday, 27 November 2016

"Poetry in Motion".

Whoever described football (soccer)
as poetry in motion
had not studied much of either.

Thursday, 24 November 2016

Tuesday, 22 November 2016

The "Security" Industry

The world is safer (for humans only) than it has ever been,
but not because of the industry with the rosiest future.

Monday, 21 November 2016

Down with 'Genealogy' !

Study of mitochondrial DNA
shows that most people in Western Europe
are not only distantly related to each other,
but to, for example, Charlemagne, Francis of Assisi
and everyone who lived in Europe in mediæval times.
The false tracing of ancestry through male lines only
should be seen as both sexist and racist,
and should become an offence. 

Sunday, 20 November 2016

Words, words, words

As y'all know, I'm Awfully Interested in words,
especially words with a bizarre history,
such as Dunce from Duns Scotus the Hiberno-Scottish theologian
and Donkey from Duncan, another slur on Celts (whoever they are).
Today I discovered that Fanny is a direct borrowing
from the Rhône-Alpes region of France.
A Fanny [sic] was a board painted with the crude or refined
likeness of female buttocks
which a non-scorer in a game of Boules or Pétanque had to kiss
(such cruel and unusual punishment!).

There are more and more-directly derived
French expressions in American
(from New France and Louisiane)
than in BritIrish English,
so Fanny = buttocks in the US, whereas in the British Isles
whither it came from the US, it means vulva.
Fanny is a diminutive form of Frances,
just as Willy and Dick are diminutive forms of William and Richard.

A Fanny from 1920



















The different British naval-slang sense came from Fanny Adams,
a woman who had been brutally murdered and dismembered,
and had the further indignity of giving her name to
tins of mutton disliked by sailors.
The cans were re-used for eating from and cooking with. [1]

Thursday, 17 November 2016

Vindicated again!

Each of us contains three times more microbial cells
than human ones - thirty trillion, in fact. Most microbes
are beneficial, some are essential.  The modern insanity
of applying anti-microbial gels and sprays, not to mention
deodorants, bleach and soap,
is turning rich, self-pampering humans into bundles of allergies
rare conditions and cancers.
Some people won't eat what has been on the floor
thinking it foul and profane!
I think it's because I was brought up in a culture of "good clean dirt",
and almost never take baths or showers (or anti-'flu vaccines)
and wear the same socks for weeks
that I'm so healthy and sane.

Wednesday, 16 November 2016

Alternative History

There may have been one,
male or female,
or very many more than one
male or female
who called Attila the Hun
not just 'conqueror', but also
'sweetie-pie' and 'honey-bun'.

Tuesday, 15 November 2016

Sunday, 13 November 2016

Saturday, 12 November 2016

Poppycock

has nothing to do with poppies or cocks,
but with Dutch crap;
and balderdash has nothing to do with
a handsome Nordic hero;
and the typically facile After the first death there is no other
(from Dylan Thomas) is tosh and poppycock and balderdash
of the First Order.

Friday, 11 November 2016

Back in the 1980s

an English journalist declared
that the two most deadening words
in the English language were
Northern Ireland.
Now we have advanced
to a single - and more dreadful - word:
Brexit.

Thursday, 10 November 2016

One of the many delights of being old

is being "vulnerable".
I am looking forward to being "fragile",
even as I am, as ever, agile.

Wednesday, 9 November 2016

Tuesday, 8 November 2016

One of the most faithful followers of my blog

wrote to say that she liked this little poem of mine.
So I shall give it another 'airing'.



Because I sometimes talk to Death
and not to God
the latter says I am a Fraud.
The Former kisses me
on bended knee -
I hold my breath.

Monday, 7 November 2016

What we generally call 'culture'

is the ethos of property
for which the earth
has been divided and destroyed.
Language makes us irrational,
agriculture makes us soulless,
and property makes us paranoid.
.

Sunday, 6 November 2016

Why I gave up Philosophy at University.

When the great ethologist Frans de Waal
demonstrated that non-humans had a sense of fairness
and 'fair play', an unnamed philosopher wrote to him
to say that his thesis was ridiculous,
since the concept of fairness was invented
in the 18th century.

Saturday, 5 November 2016

Friday, 4 November 2016

"Things"

don't "happen for a reason",
but for an easy rationalisation.

Thursday, 3 November 2016

"Doing wrong"

is caused more by the wish to fit in and be accepted -
the conformism that smothers
moral consciousness -
than by disregard for others.

"Discreet Sheep" >>>

Wednesday, 2 November 2016

The hardest thing

(though my no means the most painful)
for a human to do is
nothing
("constructive" or destructive)
- which is why the Garden of Eden
was intolerable
and filled up with weed-puffing bonobos.

Tuesday, 1 November 2016

"Americanisms"

What the British think of as Americanisms
(and usually resent) are mostly importations
from French via Louisiana
(Have a nice day! is the most obvious and recent, but few know
that dime is from French disme);
from German (the loathsome hamburger
which was made of beef and came from Hamburg);
Swedish (rutabaga, layer-cake); Italian
(cilantro, arugula - Let's do lunch);
but not, so far as I know, from Irish...
...unless the term to dig something
is related to the Irish an dtuigeann tú ?
(do you get it, do you understand ?)
rather than (or as well as) from Wolof
degg, to comprehend ...

There is a vast catalog
of translated or transliterated linguistic borrowings in the USA:
I did not know until today
that Boondocks comes from Tagalog...

Sunday, 30 October 2016

The Second Amendment

is evidently more important to most citizens
of the flag-worshipping, politically-corrupt
USA
than the lives of their family and friends.

Friday, 28 October 2016

"Love is never better than the lover"

wrote Toni Morrison in The Bluest Eye.
But, given the numinosity around the word,
can there be good and bad kinds of love ?
Might it not be neutral, and the problems around it
due entirely to how it is or is not expressed,
is or is not experienced both by the lover
and beloved ?   How many shades of white are there ?

Thursday, 27 October 2016

The legendary Daniel.

Of course he is a tribal fiction, but
I wonder why I and everyone else
have never queried the Lions' Den.
Were there lions 2,500 years ago
in Babylonia, Assyria and Persia ?
Do lions really have dens ?
And is it not more likely that Daniel
was tossed into a squalid lion cage (or pit)
in a royal Persian zoo ?
And is it really silly to ask such a question
about a hero-story
that is patently untrue ?

Wednesday, 26 October 2016

This is not happening in Syria, Yemen...or Moldova...or anywhere near you.

A team of astronomers has successfully crowd-funded a year’s worth of observatory time to investigate the hypothesised ‘alien megastructure’orbiting a mysterious star called KIC 8462852.
The team raised over US$100,000 in under a month for the study, and they hope it will buy them enough time to conclude once and for all what’s causing KIC 8462852’s light to dim in ways scientists have never seen before.
In case you’ve missed the controversy surrounding KIC 8462852 - an F-type star that lies 1,480 light-years away - here’s a quick rundown.
The story began in 2015, when Yale astronomer Tabetha Boyajian led a team of citizen scientists called the Planet Hunters in examining data collected by the Kepler space telescope.
KIC 8462852 - now nicknamed Tabby’s Star after Boyajian - was just one star out of hundreds that Kepler marked as abnormal after studying the night sky using the transit method. Astronomers use this method to identify exoplanet candidates by watching a star’s light until it flickers or dims as an exoplanet crosses in front of it.
During their analysis, things got weird. Normally, when Kepler spies a possible exoplanet using the transit method, the suspected star’s light only dims by about 1 percent, but Tabby’s Star dimmed by a remarkable 22 percent, and stayed that way for up to 80 days at a time.
Despite the lack of evidence, many hypotheses abound about the structure, including a massive comet swarm, which was quickly debunked.
One of the most intriguing ideas is that it could be a Dyson sphere - a hypothetical structure described in several science fiction stories that works like a giant solar panel, used by an advanced civilisation to collect energy from its host star. While there’s obviously no proof that such technology exists, it’s pretty cool to think about.
“Aliens should always be the very last hypothesis you consider, but this looked like something you would expect an alien civilisation to build,” Jason Wright, an astronomer from Penn State University in the US, told The Atlantic last year.
Since this discovery, no one’s been able to come up with an explanation that can’t be adequately debunked. But now, thanks to the successful Kickstarter campaign, Boyajian and her team hope to figure it all out.
Continue Reading...

Tuesday, 25 October 2016

The Happy Solitary's Masturbation-Inspiration

I think it's the faint top-note of piss
above the lush scrotal blend
of tea-rose and vetiver
that turns me on
when I up-end
and sniff my underwear.

Monday, 24 October 2016

There is much moaning about old age.

But there is little to complain about
if you can devote your declining
years to cannabis, alcohol,
masturbation, dog-admiration,
dinner, music, blogs and books
instead of hankering, wheezing and whining.